Conquering the Mountains in Life

A couple of weeks ago, I went hiking with some friends from my mission. One of them happened to be my first companion in the field. She was the one that trained me on how to be a missionary. I owe her so much but that's not what this is about. Anyway, I went hiking to the Y in Provo, Utah. I had never been hiking there before and to be honest, I haven't been hiking much my whole life. My family and I aren't really outdoorsy nature people. But I was invited and I was free so I said I'd go.

The Y is on the side of a mountain. Like straight up a mountain. The well-beaten trail with nifty occasional benches along the way zigzags up the side of the mountain. When we started out, I didn't really think much of it. I was doing okay. I was optimistic and excited. A few zigs and a few zags later, I was huffing for breath wondering why I had said yes. My companions weren't experiencing anything near what I was. I had spots dancing before my eyes and I seriously thought I was going to pass out. Crunch, my old companion, almost never left my side. She kept encouraging me and didn't mind stopping as I gasped for breath and considered turning around and waiting at the bottom for the group. However, I had come to hike to the Y. And darn it! I was going to get to that stupid Y if it killed me. I managed to keep my sense of humor intact as one of the guys asked me what I was planning on studying (he wasn't aware that I've already completed my degree). As I huffed and tried not to die, I quipped that I wanted to study CPR. It was a momentary relief as I laughed at myself and my predicament. But I still had a heck of a way to go.

Finally, taking a slightly less used trail, we made it to the bottom of the Y. I sat down and tried to catch my breath. As my companions mingled and ate jerky and took pictures, I looked out across the valley. From the view, it didn't seem as hard and high as I'd thought as I climbed the trail. My heartbeat slowed and evened out and I quenched my thirst. I knew that I would hurt the next day but I loved the feeling that I had that I'd made it. Maybe I hadn't gotten to the top of the Y but I had made it to the bottom. A feat that I wasn't sure I would accomplish an hour earlier.

I know I made it to the Y with the help of my dear friend, Crunch, encouraging me all along the way telling me things like "You can do it!" or "You got this." And even if I didn't feel like I had 'this', I knew I couldn't stop with her by my side. Also, my sheer will and determination to overcome my natural and very out of shape man propelled my weary legs upward. I prayed a few times as I pressed forward asking for Divine help to keep me going and especially not to pass out.

In the end, the huffing and puffing and humiliation and sweat and dehydration was totally worth it. The view was worth it.

When I was on my mission, I would often compare life to a hike. A hike very similar to the one that I just described. At first, on this mortal journey, you are okay. The incline is gradual and you don't notice your breathing changing. Then it starts to get a little harder and your breathing gets heavier and your heart starts beating harder. Pretty soon, it feels like your legs are going to give out and you are lost in your mind wondering why you even wanted to go on this journey anyway. You begin to wish away the trials and troubles that are causing you heartache, that are bringing you to your knees with the weight of them.

"In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner's fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong... This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength." -Pres. James E. Faust (General Conference April 1979)

We all suffer in this life. Sometimes it is our own fault because of choices we make. Other times it is at the hand of others. And sometimes it is because the Lord is ready to teach us and help us become stronger.

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." -Elder Richard G. Scott (General Conference Oct 1995) 

It's not always about what trials come to your life but about how you handle them. I think about that fateful day two and a half years ago that changed the lives of me and my family. My younger brother was killed in a car accident. We were devastated, of course. However, because of the faith we had we became stronger. I realize now that the Lord was preparing me for that moment in my life. It was only a few short weeks before that I had made the choice to really make a place for God in my life. And it was after the accident, that I decided to share my faith and my beliefs with other by serving a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That was THE best decision I have ever made thus far in my life.

There are many different kinds of trials. Not just "big" ones like losing a loved one. After returning home, I struggled with unemployment and felt stuck in my hometown. Health issues. Depression. Infertility. Straying loved ones. Marriage problems. Money problems. Unrequited love. The list goes on and on.

Heavenly Father doesn't set out to give us pain because He likes to watch us suffer.

"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my [child], THAT ALL THESE THINGS SHALL GIVE THEE EXPERIENCE, AND SHALL BE FOR THY GOOD. ...The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" -Doctrine & Covenants 122: 7-8

We came to this earth to gain two things: a body and experience. We have our bodies and now comes the experience. Experience comes at a cost. And the cost can be painful but, if we keep persevering and putting one foot in front of the other and having FAITH that it will all work out for our good, it is totally worth it.

By the time we reach the end of our mortal journey or hike, if you will, you can look back and see how far you have come and how strong you are. Life is going to be hard but it doesn't have to be a miserable experience. It's like that saying: "Live. Laugh. Love" (I think that's the saying.) We are here to live and make choices. We are here to laugh- to have joy in our lives. We are here to love- just as the Savior has loved us enough to suffer all that we have.

"I testify that the Man who suffered for mankind, who committed His life to healing the sick and comforting the disconsolate, is mindful of your sufferings, doubts, and heartaches. 'Then,' the world would ask, 'why does He sleep when the tempest rages all around me? Why does He not still this storm, or why would He let me suffer?' Your answer may be found in considering a butterfly. Wrapped tightly in its cocoon, the developing chrysalis must struggle with all its might to break its confinment. The butterfly might think, 'Why must I suffer so? Why cannot I simply, in the twinkling of an eye, become a butterfly?' Such thoughts would be contrary to the Creator's design. The struggle to break out of the cocoon develops the butterfly so it can fly. Without that adversity, the butterfly would never have the strength to achieve its destiny. It would never develop the strength to become something extraordinary." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (General Conference April 2000) 

With pain, heartbreak, trials, tribulations, comes conquering our mountains and reaching the top to realize that we are stronger. And it prepares us for the next mountain that stands before us. Never stop relying on God to help you. He has not forsaken you. He is guiding you and He keeps you from breaking, if you let Him.

As for my hike. Afterwards, I shook my head at myself and thought "Never again." But every day, as I drive home from work, I look at the big white Y and think "I gotta try again." Only this time, I want to be more prepared. I don't want to huff and puff my way up to the bottom of the Y. I want to feel good as I climb the mountain till I can touch the top of the Y. I want to be stronger. So that is my goal. Use my experiences to become stronger and better. To reach my potential.

I wanted to end with one of my favorite verses from the Doctrine & Covenants. I've shared it with a couple of people today but I just love it so much I wanted to share it again.

"For verily I say unto you, that great things await you;" -Doctrine & Covenants 45:62

Smile Always,

Chuck

The Vortex of Southern Charm

I've been thinking about this post for awhile now. The title isn't actually of my own making but of a friend of mine who we will call E. Bennett. No, no. Elizabeth B. (Name has been changed to protect her identity.) She knows who she is. She actually helped me start thinking about this topic a few months ago whilst we served as missionaries in Long Beach. So I guess I'll just go ahead and dedicate it to her.

Elizabeth B. This is for you!

What is The Vortex of Southern Charm anyway? 

Well I'll be honest and say it started with a guy... As most things tend to. The first thing I liked about this guy was his accent. He opened his mouth and spoke and I fell hook, line, and sinker. And as it usually goes... He didn't feel the same way. Of course. 

As I talked to Elizabeth B. about this guy with the accent, she started talking about how it's that Southern charm that just SUCKS you in and before you know it... You are flat on your butt staring up at the sky with no idea how you got there. Haha. Lately, I've been thinking about this Southern Charm and what it is about it that I like. I decided to choose 10 things that I liked the most. Here they are in no particular order: 

1) The Accent- as previously stated. I'm just a sucker for it. 

2) A Sense of Decorum (manners)- My friend Lauren, who is originally from Mississippi,  is AWESOME at always sending thank you cards to people. It's just ingrained in her to do it and it's something that I admire and try to emulate.

3) Southern Gentlemen- Alas, I have another friend from Mississippi who is such a southern gentleman. Yes Ma'ams and such. Add the accent and it's so charming!

4) Barbecue! I don't eat a ton of meat but I enjoy a good barbecue with the tangy awesome sauce. And people in the South just seem to know how to make it just right.

5) Fried chicken. I'm not talking about KFC chicken either (which originated in Utah). But the legit fried chicken at home. Mmmm.

6) Sweet Home Alabama. Both the song and the movie. (Fun Fact about the movie- it was actually filmed in Georgia.) 

7) Country Music. I don't know the exact history of the genre but I know that A LOT of the artists from this genre come from the South... like Scotty McCreery!! 

8) To Kill a Mockingbird. It's written by someone from the South. It's about the South. How much more Southern can you get?!

9) Matthew McConaughey. Nuff said.

10) Dr. Pepper. Born and raised in Waco, Texas. This is my poison of choice, which is why I don't drink it that often. 

These are just a few of the things that suck me into The Vortex of Southern Charm. But what it really boils down to is the guy who started the Vortex in the first place. He's one of the most aggravating people I've ever met but between his accent, his blue eyes, and his natural charisma... I was helpless. I got sucked into his Vortex of Southern Charm- along with a dozen other girls. *eye roll* Alas, all hope is not lost for me. (Or those other girls.) Good things do come from the South. Not just sweet talking boys who turn your knees to jelly (I'm talking to you Matthew McConaughey).

Remember to Smile Always!

Chuck

P.S. I am fully and completely aware that I am a totally ridiculous. I find much delight in it. :)

Smile Always Chuck Spotlight: "See You Tonight" Scotty McCreary

This week's Smile Always Chuck Spotlight is...

"See You Tonight" by Scotty McCreary. 

This song is one of my current favorites just because I love the sound of it. Also, I LOVE Scotty McCreary's voice. It's a very "melt like a popsicle on the Fourth of July" kind of voice. He's also very cute in that Southern kind of way with the button up shirt, tight jeans (not normally my style), and the boots. I could get along with that. Haha! And I just like the way he dances at the microphone. I find it amusing and cute.

Enjoy!

Smile Always,

Chuck

How Do You Know?

I've done it: I've finished school, served a mission, gotten a job, moved out of my parents' house, and I have my own car. So now what? 

What's the next step? I know it starts with D and leads to M. That's right. Dating leads to marriage. And to be honest, I'm kind of scared of that like kind of commitment. Don't get me wrong, I want it. I know it is essential to the Plan of Salvation and all that jazz but it's scary to put yourself out there like that. 

And how do you know? How do you know if what you feel is temporary attraction for someone or the real thing? That L thing? Love has always been confusing to me. Not the familial or frienship love that we all feel for those around us, but the romantic "his and her towels" (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) kind of love. 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines love as the following: [NOUN] 1) Strong affection, 2) warm attachment, 3) attraction based on sexual desire, 5) unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others. [VERB] 1) cherish, 2) to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for.

The King James Bible Dictionary defines love as: CHARITY: the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds of benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive. [And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things... But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. -Moroni 7:45, 47] 

So how do you know? How do you know if you have mere affection for a person or if you have that "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others" or as the scriptures say "charity" or the "pure love of Christ"? 

I guess it's when you can accept a person flaws and all. None of us are perfect. That is our whole purpose in this life isn't it? To work toward perfection? But I digress. 

My whole purpose was to pose the question that I have struggled with ever since I reached a certain age. Again, how do you know if it's simple attraction or if you love a person? This is romantic love I'm referring to. I'm not looking for some grand gesture of love. I just want somebody who wants to spend time with me. Somebody who knows who I am and accepts me for me. Just as I wish to accept them for who they are. 

This isn't at all how I thought this post would turn out. Usually once I start writing, something totally different than what I planned flows from my fingertips. 

If anyone has an answer for me, I'd love to hear it. 

Before my mission, as a college student, I was introduced to a blog where the author did "Dear Boys" letters. I'm not sure if she still does because I haven't read her blog in probably two years. But I decided to do a couple of "Dear Boys" letters. (I've done this on my old blog so those of you who have read it should be familiar with the format). 

Dear Wonderful,
Are you really as Wonderful as I think? How is a girl supposed to know if you are wonderful from so far away? Wishful thinking has me hoping you are wondering the same about me. 

Hopefully yours,
Chuck

Dear Small Town Boy,
Age is just a number and I'm reconsidering all my preconceived notions. You are what you seem and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't give up.  

Love,
Chuck

Dear Mr. Right,
Please tell me you are right around the corner. I'm not getting any younger and I think I'm finally ready for you. I hope I recognize you for who you are when I finally meet you. Please don't wait too long to ride into my life on your white horse. 

Yours always,
Chuck

This post as been one of reflection for me. I've pondered this topic often as I've come to seriously consider the M word. I know that the day will come that I will recognize Mr. Right and it'll all work out. The hardest part is having faith that I'll know it when it happens and that I'll have the faith to trust him, whoever he is, to not let me down and break my heart.  

As I've come to learn over the last couple of years though, and I've shared it on here before, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." As painful as it sounds, being single is comfortable. All you have is yourself. No one else's feelings to worry about. No heartbreak because you can keep yourself in your little self-contained bubble. You don't have to worry. You don't have to stress. You can spend your Friday nights watching Star Wars and blogging about love like I'm doing. But in the end, you feel alone. You feel like you are missing something that other people have... you don't feel as happy as you know you could be. You are safe but are you happy? Without risk, there is not real reward. A lesson I am learning the longer I'm alive. 

Well, I feel I have beaten this topic to death enough tonight. I just wanted to get it all out on paper computer screen. And I'm serious, if any of you have answers for me please let me know. I could use all the help I can get on this topic. 

"Never give up! Never surrender!" -Galaxy Quest

Smile Always,

Chuck 

Life in the Office: In the Beginning

I've spent the last few months praying for my life to begin. This is the week of new beginnings. But let's go back 7 days ago...

I drove to Lehi for a job interview with a company that my friend, Leggs, told me about. I am extremely grateful to her for doing so. I had a really quick interview- fifteen minutes in fact. I drove 2 hours for a fifteen minute interview. Don't worry though, I had other matters to attend to... like visiting the RANSOMS!!! The Ransom family was in Utah to drop off their son, Elder Ransom, at the MTC. I met them in Orem where they treated me to a lovely lunch. It was so good to see them. Sister Ransom has such special place in my heart and I loved having the opportunity to see her and her family. 

Oh, ten minutes after my job interview I got a telephone call... they wanted to HIRE ME!!! I said yes, of course. Now I have a job! Yay!! I was home by the mid afternoon. And then Leggs gave me a call and had a place for me to live in Provo. I gotta hand it to Leggs, she sure has helped me out a lot in my life. 

That left me with a week to get everything figured out and get moved to Provo. It's been a pretty crazy ride. 

Friday, my mom got off work early and she showed up at home and dragged me to the local car dealerships in town. Yep, new job. New apartment. And a new car. All in one week. I'm grateful for my parents being so willing to help. Of course, my mom did "kick me out of the house". Haha. 

So Monday morning, Mom and I met at the bank and signed the paperwork. Then we headed to the dealership where I got my new car... a dark blue 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt. I hugged Mom and watched her drive off. I was on my own again.

It only took me about 15 minutes to pack my belongings in the car (not everything I own). I ate a quick lunch and tried to figure out how to open the trunk from inside. Haha. And, of course, I had to set up my radio presets. I couldn't take a 2 hour drive without my radio stations set ahead of time. As a back up I had a Lady Antebellum CD in. 

I made it to Provo in plenty of time. I helped Leggs finish cleaning and moving out, signed the paperwork, and got the key. Two hours later, I was all unpacked. (Like I said, not everything I own.) Leggs made dinner and then I was on my own... again.

This whole week has been a whirlwind. I made it through my first week of work. I know I'll enjoy the job but I hate feeling incompetent. I like being confident in what I am doing and know what to do, when to do it, how to do it. You get the picture. I think that is why I try to learn as fast as I can. Not a bad trait but also can make life tricky. I get the projects I'm working on at work done much faster than anticipated.

At the end of the day, I just have to count my many blessings. I know that the Lord has His own time. I've learned a lot about patience. And I know I have a lot more to learn in my life. However, I am so grateful for how smoothly this week has gone. Even with some bumps in the road, I made it to Provo in a newly acquired car and got moved into my new apartment. I'm learning how to be independent again. And loving it.

The lesson I've learned is: even when it feels like it'll never happen, don't give up because before you know it Heavenly Father will be answering your prayers. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Smile Always,

Chuck